Dear Blob,

Nothing really new to report. Just had a few minutes and decided to write.

I stayed home today (Tuesday, March 13) because one of your sister's pet rats were sick and had to go to the vet. Turned out she (the rat) had a rather large tumor in her abdomen so the decision was made to euthanize her. I decided that it would not be ideal to tell your sister this news over the phone, so I chose to work at home so that I could meet her when she got off the bus this afternoon.

I'm so full of pregnancy hormones that I couldn't even stay in the room while they euthanized it. I just can't deal with anything like that right now. I mean, I wasn't especially close to the rat or anything, but the thought of having to put it to death just made me so sad I could hardly bear it. (I also react this way to sad news stories and movie plots. It's a pregnancy thing. When I was pregnant with Elizabeth I had to stop reading the paper for awhile because it upset me too much.)

I think, though, that overall I'm starting to get out of the first trimester "ick" and into the wonderful second trimester. My energy level still isn't up to par, but the food thing seems to abating. And I do have more energy than I did even a few weeks ago. I still have to force myself to go exercise, but that was the case even before I became pregnant!

I have to admit that sometimes I have a lot of self-doubt about whether or not getting pregnant was the right thing to do. I mean, there's William and Elizabeth, almost ready to tackle life on their own, and here I am starting completely over with another one. Of course, I had a lot of doubt when I was pregnant with them, as well, though for different reasons. And in the end, I wouldn't have had it any other way.

Strange, really. I remember vividly when I was pregnant with your sister thinking to myself: How on earth am I going to be able to handle another child? How can I possibly love another child as much as I love William? But then she was born and my heart just opened up and all those doubts just flew right out the window. So now when I wonder how on earth I'm going to handle having another child, and when I worry that I'm all out of love capacity, I know it's normal, and that it's really very silly because as soon as you're here I know it's going to be impossible for me to remember a time when you weren't with me. Of course, this knowledge still doesn't keep the doubt and worry at bay. . .

So oh well, your forgetful brother forgot his tennis shoes that he needs for tennis practice today so I must go deliver them to him here in a moment. Lucky thing for him that I am home today, I guess.

Until next time,

I remain,

Yours truly,

Mommy