I haven't written in awhile and, because I'm extremely tired and don't feel like working at the moment, I thought I'd take a moment and make an entry in the blog. (Which I really need to change the name of since little Benjamin--and that is his name, but ssshhhhh, don't tell anyone--is certainly not very blob-like anymore. But I'll worry with that later.)

I am not tired because of pregnancy stuff, I'm tired because I stayed up until 2 a.m. reading last night. I was reading the book The Perfect Man: A Novel. It was, obviously (since I stayed up until 2 a.m. to finish it), a very good book. That's the problem I have with books though--if they're really, really good I want to do nothing but read, and I mean nothing. Not sleep, not work, not take care of chores, just read. Today, however, I am paying for my obsessive reading habit. Fortunately, I have to leave early to pick up Lizzie from school, so I can go home and catch a small nap before I have to take her to swim practice.

Pregnancy-wise how am I feeling? Actually, not too bad. I am certainly feeling pregnant now; that is, I feel big and bulky and reaching down to tie my shoes is already an ordeal. (Thank FSM for flip-flops and loafers!) But otherwise I feel OK physically. Not too tired, not too emotional, not overly sensitive to smells anymore, etc. All these hormones are making my skin look exceptionally horrible, but that's to be expected. Kinda like having PMS for days on end. But yeah, all things considered I am doing well, I think. I'm trying to swim at least three times a week; more if I can. Swimming is about the only exercise I do that doesn't make me feel like an awkward moose. I had to quit aerobics because of the step part--I just feel as though I don't have much coordination right now and, besides, it's too much of a chore maneuvering all this extra weight around. I was trying to walk, as well, at least three days a week, but I haven't done much of that lately for one reason or the other, and with the weather turning warm I am not likely to start back on any kind of regular basis (although it is good for Donald and when I don't walk he doesn't walk so I probably ought to walk just to get him up and active).

I wonder about Blob/Benjamin constantly now. How he's doing in there. What he's looking like. If everything is OK internally. (Please-oh-please don't let all that wine I drank before I knew I was pregnant matter!)

I saw a little boy at the pool this weekend--a toddler--with this mop of curly blond hair and I couldn't help but wonder: Will Benjamin have thick, curly hair in the manner of Donald's, or merely thick, straight as a stick hair, like mine? Will he be towheaded or will he share my mousy brown locks? Will he be sensitve and sweet, or will he be rough and tumble, banging his toys together and pow-powing everything with the guns he'll make from whatever object is available to him? Will he like to read, or eshew books as my other two have, despite the hours and hours I read to them when they were small? Will he be athletic and tall, or studious and stout? I can't wait to find these things out. I can't wait to meet him.

Yikes! I have a 2 p.m. meeting and it's now. . .2 p.m.!!!

Oh well, back to work!

Dear Blob,
It's official, you're a BOY! (And you're not much of a Blob anymore, you are looking like a regular ol' baby these days, so I guess I need to maybe change my greeting to you.)

The doctor was wrong, wrong, wrong last time. You're not a Lillian or a Zoe, you are most certainly a Benjamin or a Simon!

I (we) had an ultrasound two days ago. You are 18 weeks along, and the doctor managed to get images that distinctly show which sex you are.

I have to admit, because I had been thinking of you for over a month as a girl that it was a bit of a shock to discover that you're a boy. I initially was preferring a boy, but then they said "girl" and so I started to get excited about that. So I'm having to get my head back around "boy" again.

I am, quite honestly, just happy that you appear to be a healthy baby. Your sex is really secondary to that.

The main reason to know what sex you are is to get started on the nursery. And to do that, tonight your father and I are going out to Babies R Us and looking around. I have to start by finding some kind of crib bedding I can tolerate. I haven't seen much online that I like, so I'm hoping that in person I will find something. From there we'll do furniture and paint walls and such. Exciting stuff!

I'll keep you posted.

Much love,
Mommy