So I wimped out last night.
Almost immediately after posting in my blog, I sat down to give you a bottle and I decided then, looking down at your little sweet and trusting face, that there's no way I could stand to make you cry and that maybe I could withstand a few more weeks of sleep deprivation.
But then in the middle of the night last night, after having been awakened too many times to count by your wiggling and whimpering, I decided that maybe I can't withstand a few more weeks of sleep deprivation after all.
You're really have a tough time of it. You've developed some bad sleep associations and, at this point, you just can't seem to fall asleep, or stay asleep, at all on your own. Even with someone there to hold you and constantly put your pacifier back in your mouth, you're still having trouble settling down and getting any good amount of sleep.
So this process of teaching you to sleep on your own has got to be done and the sooner we get it over with the better for everyone. I feel badly for you. I feel badly for all of us because nothing about the current situation is good and certainly nothing about the next few days is going to be fun.
Hopefully this is going to work and it won't be too painful for either of us.
Please know that I love you. And I'm sorry.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Oh, and I believe you're teething.
You're drooling like a rabid St. Barnard and you chomp down on whatever you can get into your little mouth. And you're cranky. Cranky, cranky, cranky.
It's a bit early for teething, but not unheard of. Your brother got his first tooth early, so I'm not surprised that you're teething at this point.
You're drooling like a rabid St. Barnard and you chomp down on whatever you can get into your little mouth. And you're cranky. Cranky, cranky, cranky.
It's a bit early for teething, but not unheard of. Your brother got his first tooth early, so I'm not surprised that you're teething at this point.
So we have a problem.
A sleeping problem.
Well, "we" don't have the problem, you do, my dear sweet baby boy. But it is our fault you have this problem. We have allowed you to develop some terrible sleep habits. For instance, we have rocked you to sleep, we have held you in our arms while you slept, and we have been putting you in our bed to sleep and we have even--gasp--given you a pacifier to help you sleep!
I know, these sound like pretty reasonable things to do with a baby, right? Nope, seems that these are bad, bad, baaaad things. They make it so that baby doesn't learn how to put himself to sleep, which in turn means that mommy, and sometimes daddy, doesn't get to sleep much either, because we are spending all of our time either putting you to sleep (or back to sleep), or else sleeping uncomfortably because we have to cram ourselves into tiny spaces in our bed (where you've been sleeping all this time) to ensure that you don't get crushed or smothered or what have you.
Tonight we will begin to try and remedy the situation.
Mommy has bought a book entitled Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems. It's written by a doctor who is a sleep expert. He basically recommends letting children CIO (cry it out). Albeit with the occasional reassurance from the parent, but there is to be no picking up or rocking or pacifier giving or anything bad like that. The goal is to let you learn how to comfort yourself and put yourself to sleep. In your own bed.
I know that once you learn to fall asleep on your own we will all be happier. I'm just not sure how I'm going to make it in the interim. I can't stand to hear you cry. And I worry that just plopping you in your bed and letting you figure it out on your on will hurt you psychologically--it will make you not trust us. Daddy assures me that isn't going to happen, but mommy is fearful. So guess what? Daddy will be the one to make this happen. Mommy will be in her room with the door shut and the radio on, trying not to cry.
I'll let you know how it goes.
No matter what happens, please know that mommy loves you completely and totally and that this is all being done for your own good. I'm sorry if it doesn't seem like that right now, but it's true. I'd never do anything in the world to hurt you.
A sleeping problem.
Well, "we" don't have the problem, you do, my dear sweet baby boy. But it is our fault you have this problem. We have allowed you to develop some terrible sleep habits. For instance, we have rocked you to sleep, we have held you in our arms while you slept, and we have been putting you in our bed to sleep and we have even--gasp--given you a pacifier to help you sleep!
I know, these sound like pretty reasonable things to do with a baby, right? Nope, seems that these are bad, bad, baaaad things. They make it so that baby doesn't learn how to put himself to sleep, which in turn means that mommy, and sometimes daddy, doesn't get to sleep much either, because we are spending all of our time either putting you to sleep (or back to sleep), or else sleeping uncomfortably because we have to cram ourselves into tiny spaces in our bed (where you've been sleeping all this time) to ensure that you don't get crushed or smothered or what have you.
Tonight we will begin to try and remedy the situation.
Mommy has bought a book entitled Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems. It's written by a doctor who is a sleep expert. He basically recommends letting children CIO (cry it out). Albeit with the occasional reassurance from the parent, but there is to be no picking up or rocking or pacifier giving or anything bad like that. The goal is to let you learn how to comfort yourself and put yourself to sleep. In your own bed.
I know that once you learn to fall asleep on your own we will all be happier. I'm just not sure how I'm going to make it in the interim. I can't stand to hear you cry. And I worry that just plopping you in your bed and letting you figure it out on your on will hurt you psychologically--it will make you not trust us. Daddy assures me that isn't going to happen, but mommy is fearful. So guess what? Daddy will be the one to make this happen. Mommy will be in her room with the door shut and the radio on, trying not to cry.
I'll let you know how it goes.
No matter what happens, please know that mommy loves you completely and totally and that this is all being done for your own good. I'm sorry if it doesn't seem like that right now, but it's true. I'd never do anything in the world to hurt you.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Update to the pumping situation:
I realize that I had written that I was going to stop pumping completely. Well, that didn't happen. But what did happen is that I quit trying to pump every three hours during the day and have gone to a three times a day total schedule. So what I do is get up in the a.m. and pump (after I've nursed Benjamin on and off during the night), then four to four and one-half hours later I pump again, and then four to five hours after that I pump one more time. That's it. No pumping at night (which is a time that I really, really despise the breast pump, for whatever reason). No more freaking out and stressing about whether or not I have enough milk. No more being stuck at the house because I'm scared I might not be able to pump if I go out.
I'm still able to get anywhere from 16 to 24 oz. of breast milk in a day this way, so Benjamin's diet can remain majority breast milk (there are some nights where the last bottle is formula-only because he's such a piggy little eater that he went through the entire breast milk stash earlier in the day), but even if my supply goes down and we end up doing more formula than breast milk I will still feel good about the fact that for three solid months he was mostly breast fed.
Bottom line is that doing things this way makes me a much happier, less stressed out Mommy. I'm feeling good about things. That's important.
I realize that I had written that I was going to stop pumping completely. Well, that didn't happen. But what did happen is that I quit trying to pump every three hours during the day and have gone to a three times a day total schedule. So what I do is get up in the a.m. and pump (after I've nursed Benjamin on and off during the night), then four to four and one-half hours later I pump again, and then four to five hours after that I pump one more time. That's it. No pumping at night (which is a time that I really, really despise the breast pump, for whatever reason). No more freaking out and stressing about whether or not I have enough milk. No more being stuck at the house because I'm scared I might not be able to pump if I go out.
I'm still able to get anywhere from 16 to 24 oz. of breast milk in a day this way, so Benjamin's diet can remain majority breast milk (there are some nights where the last bottle is formula-only because he's such a piggy little eater that he went through the entire breast milk stash earlier in the day), but even if my supply goes down and we end up doing more formula than breast milk I will still feel good about the fact that for three solid months he was mostly breast fed.
Bottom line is that doing things this way makes me a much happier, less stressed out Mommy. I'm feeling good about things. That's important.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Dear Benjamin,
Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah they say it's your birthday! Happy birthday to you!
Three months old birthday, that is.
You've accomplished a whole lot over the past month. It's a given now that you can reach out to swat at your toys and, in fact, you've started reaching and grabbing some, rather than just swatting. And then just last night you rolled over from your tummy (where you really don't like to be) to your back. You can also almost roll from your back to your tummy. You have a nice twisty action going on, it's just a matter of swinging your leg over. Once you realize you need to do that, you're over.
These are, as I said, huge accomplishments for a baby your age. In fact, some babies are four and five months old before they can do some of these things, so you're above average (as Mommy knew you would be :-).
Well, unfortunately I have to get back to work. (Yes, I had to go back to work full-time, which I'm none too happy about, but we need Mommy's paycheck and you do get to stay home with Daddy during the day so it's not so awful, for you anyway.) I just wanted to say HAPPY THREE MONTHS OLD!!
I love you sweet boy!!
Love,
Mommy
Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah they say it's your birthday! Happy birthday to you!
Three months old birthday, that is.
You've accomplished a whole lot over the past month. It's a given now that you can reach out to swat at your toys and, in fact, you've started reaching and grabbing some, rather than just swatting. And then just last night you rolled over from your tummy (where you really don't like to be) to your back. You can also almost roll from your back to your tummy. You have a nice twisty action going on, it's just a matter of swinging your leg over. Once you realize you need to do that, you're over.
These are, as I said, huge accomplishments for a baby your age. In fact, some babies are four and five months old before they can do some of these things, so you're above average (as Mommy knew you would be :-).
Well, unfortunately I have to get back to work. (Yes, I had to go back to work full-time, which I'm none too happy about, but we need Mommy's paycheck and you do get to stay home with Daddy during the day so it's not so awful, for you anyway.) I just wanted to say HAPPY THREE MONTHS OLD!!
I love you sweet boy!!
Love,
Mommy
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