Dear Bunnyboy,
We went to the doctor today for your six-month well-baby visit.
The doctor says that you are 20.6 lbs (90th percentile), 26.5" long (50th percentile), and your noggin is about 18.2" around (96th percentile).
Besides the normal weigh and measure, you received a few shots today. (I think you got two of them, on top of an oral dose of the rotavirus vaccine, but I'm not really sure because I never stand around while they're poking you. I let Daddy help them with that and I come back to you when it's over to hold you and comfort you.) Generally shots don't affect you, but this afternoon you seem to be a little cranky and out of sorts, so I can't help but assume that it's the shots bothering you.
In general, though, you had a good visit. The doctor pronounced you as being "absolutely perfect." Of course, I already knew that, but it's always nice to get a professional opinion on the matter, too!
So I've been meaning to write here about some of the things you do on a daily basis that I don't think I generally talk about, but which I need to document so that I don't forget about them.
Such things are:
When you drink your bottle, I snuggle you up against me as if we were still breastfeeding. This puts your right arm behind me, but your left arm is left free to roam. You generally alternate between hugging/grabbing your bottle and grabbing my face or nose. It's extremely cute. Sometimes it seems as though that hand is independent of you and has a mind of its own because you'll be staring off into space and it'll be waving around, searching for a facial feature to grab hold of!
When you're in your walker you scoot up to the ficus and grab a fistful of plant and yank. This invariably results in your snatching at least one leaf--or a piece of leaf--off the tree. Of course, I can't tell that you've done this until I unclench your little fist and find the the leaf stuck to your hand!
Another thing you do in your walker is, you'll see someone from across the room and you'll RUN like mad towards that person and CRASH your walker into her (my) legs! You also love to chase the animals this way, but they don't let you catch them.
We play "How Big is Benjamin" and usually this elicits a hearty laugh!
We play "Peekaboo" and generally have similar results.
When we put you on the floor on your tummy you try to crawl by raising your legs and your arms and wiggling them. Naturally this doesn't result in any crawling, but it sure is funny to watch!
When you're tired or upset you suck your thumb.
Sometimes--especially early in the day, for whatever reason--if I ask you for a kiss you will lean towards me, open mouthed, and let me kiss you.
When you're tired and cranky you sometimes make what we have come to call "squinchy face" whereby you squeeze your eyes shut and squeal unhappily.
When we change your diaper these days your hands immediately go south and grab hold. (And from what I can tell, based on my experiences with your brother, this is a habit that you may not ever outgrow!)
You will play happily by yourself for 10-15 minutes at a time when we sit you up and surround you with your Boppy pillow and give you toys.
At night you enjoy watching your undersea-themed music thingy that's attached to your crib before you go to sleep.
You cry sometimes when people you don't know are in the house, but generally out in public you're sociable.
You can make 'ba', 'ma', and 'da' sounds.
When you're excited you often pant.
Tonight you tried plain yogurt for the first time and you gobbled it up.
You can feed yourself a 'biter biscuit,' but often on the way to finding your mouth you'll stick the biscuit in your ear or up your nose, which always tickles Daddy and me.
Essentially everything you do is exciting and amazing to me, and I am having such a good time watching you learn and grow. Everyday is a new adventure and I only wish I knew how to stop the clock, or at least slow it down, so that I can enjoy you that much more. I know that you have to grow up...but please, do Mommy a favor and take your time.
Hugs and kisses Funny Bunny!
Yours forever,
Mommy
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Friday, April 11, 2008
It's that time again... It's YOUR BIRTHDAY!
Your SIX MONTH birthday!!
A half of a year old!
And wow! How you have changed!
This past month you've begun perfecting your pincher grasp, you're almost crawling (you're still doing this grounded airplane maneuver where you lie on your belly and put your arms and legs up in the air and wiggle, but then you invariably get up on your knees and rock a bit, so it won't be long now), you're eating all of the "first stage" veggie and fruits, you've started drinking out of a cup (just some water every now and then), you're feeding yourself biter biscuits, you're consistently sleeping through the night, you've added "ma's" and "da's" to your babble repertoire, and you're sitting up on your own (although you still can't get there yourself, someone has to put you in the position, and you'll occasionally lose your balance and topple backwards...but otherwise, you're sitting alone).
Your SIX MONTH birthday!!
A half of a year old!
And wow! How you have changed!
This past month you've begun perfecting your pincher grasp, you're almost crawling (you're still doing this grounded airplane maneuver where you lie on your belly and put your arms and legs up in the air and wiggle, but then you invariably get up on your knees and rock a bit, so it won't be long now), you're eating all of the "first stage" veggie and fruits, you've started drinking out of a cup (just some water every now and then), you're feeding yourself biter biscuits, you're consistently sleeping through the night, you've added "ma's" and "da's" to your babble repertoire, and you're sitting up on your own (although you still can't get there yourself, someone has to put you in the position, and you'll occasionally lose your balance and topple backwards...but otherwise, you're sitting alone).
I know I keep saying this over and over, but the time is just flying! You've grown so much in such a short time. It just amazes me all the changes that have occurred since October. And I think about all the ones that are coming up. I mean, in another six months you'll be walking, talking, and eating what we eat. You won't be a "baby" baby anymore! It's just incredible to think about. And it's wonderful to watch. I'm having so much fun with you. It's such a treat everyday to see you in the morning, smiling at me from between the slats of your crib, to kiss your cheeks and give you that first morning hug.
I think I'm in love with you, Benjamin!
(Actually, there's no "think" to it, I am in love! Forever and ever...)
Daddy has put dinner on the table! Gotta run!
Love you!!!
Mommy
Monday, March 24, 2008
Hi Benjamin Bunny,
It's the day after your first Easter.
It's...three? days after the first day of your first Spring.
Almost everything is a first for you! It's so cool!
Some developmental firsts that have happened lately are: You learned how to move yourself around in your walker using a bipedal foot motion. You can sit up alone (though you can't get that position by yourself, and you still have to be closely watched in case you start to go over backwards or sideways). And today I have noticed that you are "talking" (i.e. babbling) much more than you have been.
It's so much fun for your Daddy and me, watching you do all of these things!
Speaking of your Daddy, here he comes now...home from work.
I will go and say hello to him.
Love you Sweetie!!
Love,
Mommy
It's the day after your first Easter.
It's...three? days after the first day of your first Spring.
Almost everything is a first for you! It's so cool!
Some developmental firsts that have happened lately are: You learned how to move yourself around in your walker using a bipedal foot motion. You can sit up alone (though you can't get that position by yourself, and you still have to be closely watched in case you start to go over backwards or sideways). And today I have noticed that you are "talking" (i.e. babbling) much more than you have been.
It's so much fun for your Daddy and me, watching you do all of these things!
Speaking of your Daddy, here he comes now...home from work.
I will go and say hello to him.
Love you Sweetie!!
Love,
Mommy
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Dear Benjamin Bunny,
Happy FIVE MONTHS old!!
It's been a fun and exciting month for everyone. You have grown by leaps and bounds. Not only can you turn over from one side to the other with relative ease and grace, but you can almost sit up on your own and you're making motions that indicate you might soon be crawling. For the most part you're sleeping entirely through the night (some nights you still wake up and want to be fed, but mostly you sleep through). And you are readily gobbling up the "solid" food we've given you. (So far you've had rice cereal, sweet potatoes, bananas [those didn't agree with your tummy though, so we're going to hold off giving you anymore for a few months], and squash.)
It's difficult for both Daddy and me to reconcile that just a short few months ago you were so small and helpless and now here you are so active and so big. We knew it would happen, certainly, but knowing it and actually witnessing how fast all the changes would occur are two different things!
You are going to be all grown up before we know it.
I know I sound corny, but the time truly is flying by and I wish I knew how to make it stand still so that I could enjoy each moment with you just a little bit longer.
You're such a sweet boy.
When you wake up in the mornings and from your naps, you generally lie in your bed and make little waking up sounds, and when I go in to see whether or not you're truly coming awake you'll look up from between the slats of your crib and give me this big, sweet grin, as if we've been apart for some extended time (which, to you, I guess we have) and you're totally thrilled to see me again.
And you have the absolute best laugh in the world! I'm not so certain if it's the words or my mop of hair shaking that drives you to it, but whenever I hold you on my lap and say silly things to you, you laugh so hard you give yourself the hiccups! It's the sweetest sound to me, your laughter.
You know, come to think on it, there's not a whole lot about you that I'm not just absolutely thrilled with (yeah, I could live without the poopy diapers, but even those I don't mind so much)! And while I think you're growing up way too fast, I'm nonetheless looking forward toward the changes that this next month will bring. Everything you do is so exciting!
I love you bunches and bunches sweetie pie funny boy!
Again, happy FIVE MONTHS old!
Love, Mommy
Happy FIVE MONTHS old!!
It's been a fun and exciting month for everyone. You have grown by leaps and bounds. Not only can you turn over from one side to the other with relative ease and grace, but you can almost sit up on your own and you're making motions that indicate you might soon be crawling. For the most part you're sleeping entirely through the night (some nights you still wake up and want to be fed, but mostly you sleep through). And you are readily gobbling up the "solid" food we've given you. (So far you've had rice cereal, sweet potatoes, bananas [those didn't agree with your tummy though, so we're going to hold off giving you anymore for a few months], and squash.)
It's difficult for both Daddy and me to reconcile that just a short few months ago you were so small and helpless and now here you are so active and so big. We knew it would happen, certainly, but knowing it and actually witnessing how fast all the changes would occur are two different things!
You are going to be all grown up before we know it.
I know I sound corny, but the time truly is flying by and I wish I knew how to make it stand still so that I could enjoy each moment with you just a little bit longer.
You're such a sweet boy.
When you wake up in the mornings and from your naps, you generally lie in your bed and make little waking up sounds, and when I go in to see whether or not you're truly coming awake you'll look up from between the slats of your crib and give me this big, sweet grin, as if we've been apart for some extended time (which, to you, I guess we have) and you're totally thrilled to see me again.
And you have the absolute best laugh in the world! I'm not so certain if it's the words or my mop of hair shaking that drives you to it, but whenever I hold you on my lap and say silly things to you, you laugh so hard you give yourself the hiccups! It's the sweetest sound to me, your laughter.
You know, come to think on it, there's not a whole lot about you that I'm not just absolutely thrilled with (yeah, I could live without the poopy diapers, but even those I don't mind so much)! And while I think you're growing up way too fast, I'm nonetheless looking forward toward the changes that this next month will bring. Everything you do is so exciting!
I love you bunches and bunches sweetie pie funny boy!
Again, happy FIVE MONTHS old!
Love, Mommy
Monday, February 18, 2008
A typical day in the life of four-month-old Benjamin:
0400-0430: Bottle, 5 oz. (Given by Daddy who, bless his heart, always gets up with you at this ungodly hour)
0700-0730: Wake up!
0800-0830: Bottle, 5-6 oz.
0900-1000: Down for a nap that usu. lasts for 1.5 hours
1130-1200: Two tablespoons cereal and 5-6 oz. formula
1230-1330: Down for another nap, lasts about a half-hour
1400-1500: Bottle, 5-6 oz.
1530-1600: Another nap, another half-hour
1700-1730: Bottle, 3-8 oz. (just depends)
1800-1830: Naps briefly
2000-2030: Bottle, 6-8 oz.
Start over.
0400-0430: Bottle, 5 oz. (Given by Daddy who, bless his heart, always gets up with you at this ungodly hour)
0700-0730: Wake up!
0800-0830: Bottle, 5-6 oz.
0900-1000: Down for a nap that usu. lasts for 1.5 hours
1130-1200: Two tablespoons cereal and 5-6 oz. formula
1230-1330: Down for another nap, lasts about a half-hour
1400-1500: Bottle, 5-6 oz.
1530-1600: Another nap, another half-hour
1700-1730: Bottle, 3-8 oz. (just depends)
1800-1830: Naps briefly
2000-2030: Bottle, 6-8 oz.
Start over.
I have officially, as of today, stopped pumping/breastfeeding. Completely.
On the one hand I'm happy and relieved. I hated pumping and I'm thrilled to know that never again do I have to hook my breasts up to that evil device. And it's nice not to have to worry about what medicines I can take or whether or not I can have a glass of wine before a certain time.
But on the other hand I'm terribly, terribly sad. This is the last time in my life that I will ever have the opportunity to provide breast milk for a child of mine (yeah, yeah, I know I said the same thing when I was breastfeeding Lizzie--don't go there!) and it's the end of an era that went by way too fast.
I am trying not to beat myself up too badly about the decision to stop, but it's hard. I feel selfish. Yes, pumping is awful. It's painful. And it's a complete pain in the !@#. But a good martyr. . .er. . .mom does what she has to do for her baby, right?
And then of course there's the whole thing about expectations. See, I had these expectations about how my life would be if/when I ever had another child (I'd quit work and stay at home in my lovely, self-cleaning, landscaped, Better Homes & Gardens decorated house until my child was at least in high school), and that didn't work out. And then I had these expectations about what my birth experience would be like, and that didn't pan out. And then I had expectations about what my breastfeeding experience would be like, and that didn't pan out. So I pumped. And it sucked (literally and figuratively). So that didn't really pan out either!
And now I feel guilty. And like a loser.
I can't get anything right.
Well, except my baby boy.
He's right.
As right as rain.
He's perfect.
And really, that's all that should count. And I know it. The rest is just. . .details. He's what's important and he's GREAT.
And I know that he's going to remain that way, no matter that I feed him formula now instead of breast milk.
I have to remind myself: I gave him four months of breast milk. That's more than a lot of babies ever get. And I tried hard to make it work out for a longer period of time, but it didn't and that's just how it is. And, bottom line, Benjamin is growing (oh so quickly!) and is going to be fine. I know this. It's just sometimes hard to remember.
On the one hand I'm happy and relieved. I hated pumping and I'm thrilled to know that never again do I have to hook my breasts up to that evil device. And it's nice not to have to worry about what medicines I can take or whether or not I can have a glass of wine before a certain time.
But on the other hand I'm terribly, terribly sad. This is the last time in my life that I will ever have the opportunity to provide breast milk for a child of mine (yeah, yeah, I know I said the same thing when I was breastfeeding Lizzie--don't go there!) and it's the end of an era that went by way too fast.
I am trying not to beat myself up too badly about the decision to stop, but it's hard. I feel selfish. Yes, pumping is awful. It's painful. And it's a complete pain in the !@#. But a good martyr. . .er. . .mom does what she has to do for her baby, right?
And then of course there's the whole thing about expectations. See, I had these expectations about how my life would be if/when I ever had another child (I'd quit work and stay at home in my lovely, self-cleaning, landscaped, Better Homes & Gardens decorated house until my child was at least in high school), and that didn't work out. And then I had these expectations about what my birth experience would be like, and that didn't pan out. And then I had expectations about what my breastfeeding experience would be like, and that didn't pan out. So I pumped. And it sucked (literally and figuratively). So that didn't really pan out either!
And now I feel guilty. And like a loser.
I can't get anything right.
Well, except my baby boy.
He's right.
As right as rain.
He's perfect.
And really, that's all that should count. And I know it. The rest is just. . .details. He's what's important and he's GREAT.
And I know that he's going to remain that way, no matter that I feed him formula now instead of breast milk.
I have to remind myself: I gave him four months of breast milk. That's more than a lot of babies ever get. And I tried hard to make it work out for a longer period of time, but it didn't and that's just how it is. And, bottom line, Benjamin is growing (oh so quickly!) and is going to be fine. I know this. It's just sometimes hard to remember.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
We're back from our visit to the pediatrician's office.
You are 18.1 lbs.!!!!
And you are 25 inches long!
This puts you in the 95th percentile for weight and the 45th percentile for height.
You are, officially, a BIG boy!
Hard to believe that at one point they were worried about you losing weight. Ha! You sure showed them!
I think that you're not feeling well tonight due to the shots they gave you today. You're terribly grumpy. Nothing makes you happy tonight. I feel so badly for you, too. I can't seem to do anything to make you feel better. Hopefully this won't last long.
You are 18.1 lbs.!!!!
And you are 25 inches long!
This puts you in the 95th percentile for weight and the 45th percentile for height.
You are, officially, a BIG boy!
Hard to believe that at one point they were worried about you losing weight. Ha! You sure showed them!
I think that you're not feeling well tonight due to the shots they gave you today. You're terribly grumpy. Nothing makes you happy tonight. I feel so badly for you, too. I can't seem to do anything to make you feel better. Hopefully this won't last long.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Dear Benjamin,
Happy FOUR MONTHS old!!
Wow! So hard for Mommy to believe that you're already FOUR MONTHS old!
When did it happen that you stopped being a newborn baby and turned into this. . .well, no longer newborn baby? This baby who can hold his head up and push up on his arms and give these big ol' belly laughs and turn himself over front to back and back to front again? We've been watching you the whole time, yet we seemed to have missed that turning point. It just kinda. . .happened.
So here you are. Four big months old. Rolling over in both directions, following our voices, seeing us when we're completely across the room, and trying out "solid food" (as of yesterday, when we gave you your first rice cereal meal). Amazing feats of motor skill and intellectual ability! You're growing so quickly. So terribly quickly.
Slow it down a little, would you?
No, I don't really mean that.
I don't want you to slow down. Nor do I want you to speed up. I'm perfectly happy having you just the way your are. It's all exciting and amazing to me, just as it was when your brother and your sister went through these stages, only this time I know, only too well, how fast the time flies and how fleeting the moments are, so I can appreciate it, hopefully, a little more this time around.
Ironic, I guess, that at this point in my life, while I might be financially better off than I ever have been, I'm busier than ever and have less time to give. I was dirt poor when your brother was born, yet managed to stay home with him for a full year. Same with your sister, except it was six months that I didn't work when I had her. But when I did return to work it was in the childcare field and she went with me. This time I have to go back to my corporate job, there's no getting around it. We need my salary. And, truth be told, there are certain aspects of my job that I enjoy (namely a sense of accomplishment and recognition). But as much as I might enjoy it, I'd rather be here with you and it makes me sad that I can't be. I hope that you'll understand and don't resent that I'm not here with you. At least you get to stay with your father during the day rather than go off to icky daycare.
And boy, does your Daddy love you! You're the light of his life, his heart, his raison d'etre. He loves you. . .well, more than I know how to quantify with words. I know that you are in the best possible hands when I leave you each day with him. He's all about you and I know that when you're with him you're well care for. I might be sad that I have to leave you, but I'm happy knowing that you're home with your father.
Speaking of which, tomorrow I don't have to go to work. I have taken off so that I can take you to the doctor's for your four month old well-check. I can't wait to find out how much weight you've gained, how tall (long?) you are, and how impressed the doctor is with all that you've accomplished over the past two months. You'll also get some shots while you're there. That part I'm not so happy about, as they'll hurt you and make you cry. But I have to remember that it's for the greater good--the diseases that the shots are protecting you from are far worse for you than the momentary feeling of pain is that comes from the shots themselves.
I'll let you know how it goes.
I love you silly boy funny bunny goofy doofy chicken nugget!
You make me happy.
Happy birthday.
Love,
Mommy
Happy FOUR MONTHS old!!
Wow! So hard for Mommy to believe that you're already FOUR MONTHS old!
When did it happen that you stopped being a newborn baby and turned into this. . .well, no longer newborn baby? This baby who can hold his head up and push up on his arms and give these big ol' belly laughs and turn himself over front to back and back to front again? We've been watching you the whole time, yet we seemed to have missed that turning point. It just kinda. . .happened.
So here you are. Four big months old. Rolling over in both directions, following our voices, seeing us when we're completely across the room, and trying out "solid food" (as of yesterday, when we gave you your first rice cereal meal). Amazing feats of motor skill and intellectual ability! You're growing so quickly. So terribly quickly.
Slow it down a little, would you?
No, I don't really mean that.
I don't want you to slow down. Nor do I want you to speed up. I'm perfectly happy having you just the way your are. It's all exciting and amazing to me, just as it was when your brother and your sister went through these stages, only this time I know, only too well, how fast the time flies and how fleeting the moments are, so I can appreciate it, hopefully, a little more this time around.
Ironic, I guess, that at this point in my life, while I might be financially better off than I ever have been, I'm busier than ever and have less time to give. I was dirt poor when your brother was born, yet managed to stay home with him for a full year. Same with your sister, except it was six months that I didn't work when I had her. But when I did return to work it was in the childcare field and she went with me. This time I have to go back to my corporate job, there's no getting around it. We need my salary. And, truth be told, there are certain aspects of my job that I enjoy (namely a sense of accomplishment and recognition). But as much as I might enjoy it, I'd rather be here with you and it makes me sad that I can't be. I hope that you'll understand and don't resent that I'm not here with you. At least you get to stay with your father during the day rather than go off to icky daycare.
And boy, does your Daddy love you! You're the light of his life, his heart, his raison d'etre. He loves you. . .well, more than I know how to quantify with words. I know that you are in the best possible hands when I leave you each day with him. He's all about you and I know that when you're with him you're well care for. I might be sad that I have to leave you, but I'm happy knowing that you're home with your father.
Speaking of which, tomorrow I don't have to go to work. I have taken off so that I can take you to the doctor's for your four month old well-check. I can't wait to find out how much weight you've gained, how tall (long?) you are, and how impressed the doctor is with all that you've accomplished over the past two months. You'll also get some shots while you're there. That part I'm not so happy about, as they'll hurt you and make you cry. But I have to remember that it's for the greater good--the diseases that the shots are protecting you from are far worse for you than the momentary feeling of pain is that comes from the shots themselves.
I'll let you know how it goes.
I love you silly boy funny bunny goofy doofy chicken nugget!
You make me happy.
Happy birthday.
Love,
Mommy
Sunday, February 03, 2008
Saturday, February 02, 2008
Oh, yeah, I just wanted to quickly document that I had a bout of mastitis this week.
Wednesday night I awoke in the middle of the night with an awful pain in my left breast. I couldn't sleep it hurt so badly. I had to get up and pump (which of course made things hurt worse), apply hot compresses, and take Tylenol P.M. before I could get any rest.
I went to work Thursday, but by the time I got home that evening I was running a fever and felt as though I'd been hit by a Mack truck--every joint in my body ached. Fortunately I'd called the Birth Center earlier in the day and they had called in a prescription of antibiotics for me, which I'd picked up before coming home. I got in two of the four prescribed daily doses before I went to bed and by Friday morning I felt much, much better. Today there's still a tiny bit of soreness in the breast, but nothing like it felt on Thursday.
I'd have to rank mastitis fourth on my list of most physically painful experiences I've ever had (giving birth is number one, followed closely by wisdom tooth extraction and then root canal). Fortunately it responds quickly to antibiotics!
Wednesday night I awoke in the middle of the night with an awful pain in my left breast. I couldn't sleep it hurt so badly. I had to get up and pump (which of course made things hurt worse), apply hot compresses, and take Tylenol P.M. before I could get any rest.
I went to work Thursday, but by the time I got home that evening I was running a fever and felt as though I'd been hit by a Mack truck--every joint in my body ached. Fortunately I'd called the Birth Center earlier in the day and they had called in a prescription of antibiotics for me, which I'd picked up before coming home. I got in two of the four prescribed daily doses before I went to bed and by Friday morning I felt much, much better. Today there's still a tiny bit of soreness in the breast, but nothing like it felt on Thursday.
I'd have to rank mastitis fourth on my list of most physically painful experiences I've ever had (giving birth is number one, followed closely by wisdom tooth extraction and then root canal). Fortunately it responds quickly to antibiotics!
Well, as I said we would when I wrote on Monday, that very evening we started the "Ferber method" to help you learn to sleep. Now here we are, five evenings later, and I'm extraordinarily happy to report that things have gone absolutely swimmingly!
I had, naturally, figured that we would be in for a week from hell. But it really has been a relatively easy thing to do.
Your father began the process with nap time on Monday, which meant that I was at work during the roughest time--that first nap when he put you down, in your crib, by yourself, without a pacifier. I think he said that you cried for a total of 45 minutes that first time (with him going in every so often to try and comfort you, of course). But by the time that evening rolled around, you'd already had several nap time episodes to get you used to the idea of being basically on your own for sleepy time so you only cried for a little while before sleeping more or less through the night. Mommy was so afraid that you'd be completely inconsolable and that I would be overwhelmed with guilt and sorrow listening to you. But it wasn't like that at all, thank goodness. And you've progressively gotten better--i.e. you've been crying for less time--every day since. Tonight you went down without crying at all!!
I think we have almost gotten a routine figured out (at least for bed time--naps are another story): Around 8 p.m. you get dressed in your PJs. Then sometime between 8:15-8:45 you get a bottle. After that we go into your room and sit in your glidey chair and read a story. Then I sing you a song and put you in your bed. Like I said, until tonight you fussed some, but no more than 10 minutes. Tonight there was nary a peep out of you. Naturally we keep a nursery monitor in your room so we can hear you from our room and Daddy, bless his heart, gets up to give you your middle of the night bottle, which generally occurs around 2:30-3:00. He also hangs out on the couch listening to make sure you go back to bed. You generally go back down until somewhere around 6ish. This morning you slept until 7:30!
Life is good! Everyone is getting sleep!
Now we just have to work on naps. You haven't been napping well, waking like clockwork after only 30 minutes and sleeping for longer stretches only after we've gone somewhere in the van. But today, well, you actually took a decent afternoon nap, so maybe we're seeing some progress there, too.
But speaking of sleep, it's 9:45 p.m. Past Mommy's bedtime. Going to call it a night!
Love you, you sweet silly gorgeous SLEEPING baby boy!
I had, naturally, figured that we would be in for a week from hell. But it really has been a relatively easy thing to do.
Your father began the process with nap time on Monday, which meant that I was at work during the roughest time--that first nap when he put you down, in your crib, by yourself, without a pacifier. I think he said that you cried for a total of 45 minutes that first time (with him going in every so often to try and comfort you, of course). But by the time that evening rolled around, you'd already had several nap time episodes to get you used to the idea of being basically on your own for sleepy time so you only cried for a little while before sleeping more or less through the night. Mommy was so afraid that you'd be completely inconsolable and that I would be overwhelmed with guilt and sorrow listening to you. But it wasn't like that at all, thank goodness. And you've progressively gotten better--i.e. you've been crying for less time--every day since. Tonight you went down without crying at all!!
I think we have almost gotten a routine figured out (at least for bed time--naps are another story): Around 8 p.m. you get dressed in your PJs. Then sometime between 8:15-8:45 you get a bottle. After that we go into your room and sit in your glidey chair and read a story. Then I sing you a song and put you in your bed. Like I said, until tonight you fussed some, but no more than 10 minutes. Tonight there was nary a peep out of you. Naturally we keep a nursery monitor in your room so we can hear you from our room and Daddy, bless his heart, gets up to give you your middle of the night bottle, which generally occurs around 2:30-3:00. He also hangs out on the couch listening to make sure you go back to bed. You generally go back down until somewhere around 6ish. This morning you slept until 7:30!
Life is good! Everyone is getting sleep!
Now we just have to work on naps. You haven't been napping well, waking like clockwork after only 30 minutes and sleeping for longer stretches only after we've gone somewhere in the van. But today, well, you actually took a decent afternoon nap, so maybe we're seeing some progress there, too.
But speaking of sleep, it's 9:45 p.m. Past Mommy's bedtime. Going to call it a night!
Love you, you sweet silly gorgeous SLEEPING baby boy!
Monday, January 28, 2008
So I wimped out last night.
Almost immediately after posting in my blog, I sat down to give you a bottle and I decided then, looking down at your little sweet and trusting face, that there's no way I could stand to make you cry and that maybe I could withstand a few more weeks of sleep deprivation.
But then in the middle of the night last night, after having been awakened too many times to count by your wiggling and whimpering, I decided that maybe I can't withstand a few more weeks of sleep deprivation after all.
You're really have a tough time of it. You've developed some bad sleep associations and, at this point, you just can't seem to fall asleep, or stay asleep, at all on your own. Even with someone there to hold you and constantly put your pacifier back in your mouth, you're still having trouble settling down and getting any good amount of sleep.
So this process of teaching you to sleep on your own has got to be done and the sooner we get it over with the better for everyone. I feel badly for you. I feel badly for all of us because nothing about the current situation is good and certainly nothing about the next few days is going to be fun.
Hopefully this is going to work and it won't be too painful for either of us.
Please know that I love you. And I'm sorry.
Almost immediately after posting in my blog, I sat down to give you a bottle and I decided then, looking down at your little sweet and trusting face, that there's no way I could stand to make you cry and that maybe I could withstand a few more weeks of sleep deprivation.
But then in the middle of the night last night, after having been awakened too many times to count by your wiggling and whimpering, I decided that maybe I can't withstand a few more weeks of sleep deprivation after all.
You're really have a tough time of it. You've developed some bad sleep associations and, at this point, you just can't seem to fall asleep, or stay asleep, at all on your own. Even with someone there to hold you and constantly put your pacifier back in your mouth, you're still having trouble settling down and getting any good amount of sleep.
So this process of teaching you to sleep on your own has got to be done and the sooner we get it over with the better for everyone. I feel badly for you. I feel badly for all of us because nothing about the current situation is good and certainly nothing about the next few days is going to be fun.
Hopefully this is going to work and it won't be too painful for either of us.
Please know that I love you. And I'm sorry.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Oh, and I believe you're teething.
You're drooling like a rabid St. Barnard and you chomp down on whatever you can get into your little mouth. And you're cranky. Cranky, cranky, cranky.
It's a bit early for teething, but not unheard of. Your brother got his first tooth early, so I'm not surprised that you're teething at this point.
You're drooling like a rabid St. Barnard and you chomp down on whatever you can get into your little mouth. And you're cranky. Cranky, cranky, cranky.
It's a bit early for teething, but not unheard of. Your brother got his first tooth early, so I'm not surprised that you're teething at this point.
So we have a problem.
A sleeping problem.
Well, "we" don't have the problem, you do, my dear sweet baby boy. But it is our fault you have this problem. We have allowed you to develop some terrible sleep habits. For instance, we have rocked you to sleep, we have held you in our arms while you slept, and we have been putting you in our bed to sleep and we have even--gasp--given you a pacifier to help you sleep!
I know, these sound like pretty reasonable things to do with a baby, right? Nope, seems that these are bad, bad, baaaad things. They make it so that baby doesn't learn how to put himself to sleep, which in turn means that mommy, and sometimes daddy, doesn't get to sleep much either, because we are spending all of our time either putting you to sleep (or back to sleep), or else sleeping uncomfortably because we have to cram ourselves into tiny spaces in our bed (where you've been sleeping all this time) to ensure that you don't get crushed or smothered or what have you.
Tonight we will begin to try and remedy the situation.
Mommy has bought a book entitled Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems. It's written by a doctor who is a sleep expert. He basically recommends letting children CIO (cry it out). Albeit with the occasional reassurance from the parent, but there is to be no picking up or rocking or pacifier giving or anything bad like that. The goal is to let you learn how to comfort yourself and put yourself to sleep. In your own bed.
I know that once you learn to fall asleep on your own we will all be happier. I'm just not sure how I'm going to make it in the interim. I can't stand to hear you cry. And I worry that just plopping you in your bed and letting you figure it out on your on will hurt you psychologically--it will make you not trust us. Daddy assures me that isn't going to happen, but mommy is fearful. So guess what? Daddy will be the one to make this happen. Mommy will be in her room with the door shut and the radio on, trying not to cry.
I'll let you know how it goes.
No matter what happens, please know that mommy loves you completely and totally and that this is all being done for your own good. I'm sorry if it doesn't seem like that right now, but it's true. I'd never do anything in the world to hurt you.
A sleeping problem.
Well, "we" don't have the problem, you do, my dear sweet baby boy. But it is our fault you have this problem. We have allowed you to develop some terrible sleep habits. For instance, we have rocked you to sleep, we have held you in our arms while you slept, and we have been putting you in our bed to sleep and we have even--gasp--given you a pacifier to help you sleep!
I know, these sound like pretty reasonable things to do with a baby, right? Nope, seems that these are bad, bad, baaaad things. They make it so that baby doesn't learn how to put himself to sleep, which in turn means that mommy, and sometimes daddy, doesn't get to sleep much either, because we are spending all of our time either putting you to sleep (or back to sleep), or else sleeping uncomfortably because we have to cram ourselves into tiny spaces in our bed (where you've been sleeping all this time) to ensure that you don't get crushed or smothered or what have you.
Tonight we will begin to try and remedy the situation.
Mommy has bought a book entitled Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems. It's written by a doctor who is a sleep expert. He basically recommends letting children CIO (cry it out). Albeit with the occasional reassurance from the parent, but there is to be no picking up or rocking or pacifier giving or anything bad like that. The goal is to let you learn how to comfort yourself and put yourself to sleep. In your own bed.
I know that once you learn to fall asleep on your own we will all be happier. I'm just not sure how I'm going to make it in the interim. I can't stand to hear you cry. And I worry that just plopping you in your bed and letting you figure it out on your on will hurt you psychologically--it will make you not trust us. Daddy assures me that isn't going to happen, but mommy is fearful. So guess what? Daddy will be the one to make this happen. Mommy will be in her room with the door shut and the radio on, trying not to cry.
I'll let you know how it goes.
No matter what happens, please know that mommy loves you completely and totally and that this is all being done for your own good. I'm sorry if it doesn't seem like that right now, but it's true. I'd never do anything in the world to hurt you.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Update to the pumping situation:
I realize that I had written that I was going to stop pumping completely. Well, that didn't happen. But what did happen is that I quit trying to pump every three hours during the day and have gone to a three times a day total schedule. So what I do is get up in the a.m. and pump (after I've nursed Benjamin on and off during the night), then four to four and one-half hours later I pump again, and then four to five hours after that I pump one more time. That's it. No pumping at night (which is a time that I really, really despise the breast pump, for whatever reason). No more freaking out and stressing about whether or not I have enough milk. No more being stuck at the house because I'm scared I might not be able to pump if I go out.
I'm still able to get anywhere from 16 to 24 oz. of breast milk in a day this way, so Benjamin's diet can remain majority breast milk (there are some nights where the last bottle is formula-only because he's such a piggy little eater that he went through the entire breast milk stash earlier in the day), but even if my supply goes down and we end up doing more formula than breast milk I will still feel good about the fact that for three solid months he was mostly breast fed.
Bottom line is that doing things this way makes me a much happier, less stressed out Mommy. I'm feeling good about things. That's important.
I realize that I had written that I was going to stop pumping completely. Well, that didn't happen. But what did happen is that I quit trying to pump every three hours during the day and have gone to a three times a day total schedule. So what I do is get up in the a.m. and pump (after I've nursed Benjamin on and off during the night), then four to four and one-half hours later I pump again, and then four to five hours after that I pump one more time. That's it. No pumping at night (which is a time that I really, really despise the breast pump, for whatever reason). No more freaking out and stressing about whether or not I have enough milk. No more being stuck at the house because I'm scared I might not be able to pump if I go out.
I'm still able to get anywhere from 16 to 24 oz. of breast milk in a day this way, so Benjamin's diet can remain majority breast milk (there are some nights where the last bottle is formula-only because he's such a piggy little eater that he went through the entire breast milk stash earlier in the day), but even if my supply goes down and we end up doing more formula than breast milk I will still feel good about the fact that for three solid months he was mostly breast fed.
Bottom line is that doing things this way makes me a much happier, less stressed out Mommy. I'm feeling good about things. That's important.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Dear Benjamin,
Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah they say it's your birthday! Happy birthday to you!
Three months old birthday, that is.
You've accomplished a whole lot over the past month. It's a given now that you can reach out to swat at your toys and, in fact, you've started reaching and grabbing some, rather than just swatting. And then just last night you rolled over from your tummy (where you really don't like to be) to your back. You can also almost roll from your back to your tummy. You have a nice twisty action going on, it's just a matter of swinging your leg over. Once you realize you need to do that, you're over.
These are, as I said, huge accomplishments for a baby your age. In fact, some babies are four and five months old before they can do some of these things, so you're above average (as Mommy knew you would be :-).
Well, unfortunately I have to get back to work. (Yes, I had to go back to work full-time, which I'm none too happy about, but we need Mommy's paycheck and you do get to stay home with Daddy during the day so it's not so awful, for you anyway.) I just wanted to say HAPPY THREE MONTHS OLD!!
I love you sweet boy!!
Love,
Mommy
Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah they say it's your birthday! Happy birthday to you!
Three months old birthday, that is.
You've accomplished a whole lot over the past month. It's a given now that you can reach out to swat at your toys and, in fact, you've started reaching and grabbing some, rather than just swatting. And then just last night you rolled over from your tummy (where you really don't like to be) to your back. You can also almost roll from your back to your tummy. You have a nice twisty action going on, it's just a matter of swinging your leg over. Once you realize you need to do that, you're over.
These are, as I said, huge accomplishments for a baby your age. In fact, some babies are four and five months old before they can do some of these things, so you're above average (as Mommy knew you would be :-).
Well, unfortunately I have to get back to work. (Yes, I had to go back to work full-time, which I'm none too happy about, but we need Mommy's paycheck and you do get to stay home with Daddy during the day so it's not so awful, for you anyway.) I just wanted to say HAPPY THREE MONTHS OLD!!
I love you sweet boy!!
Love,
Mommy
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Tonight I made the decision to stop pumping.
This means that soon you will be a bottle-fed formula baby instead of a bottle-fed breastmilk baby.
I am terribly torn about this decision and feeling rather sad about it. But at the same time I'm also feeling relieved.
I'm sad because I know breastmilk is best and stopping the pumping means stopping the breastmilk. I'm sad because I know that Benjamin is my last baby. This is my last time ever having the opportunity to breastfeed. I'm sad because nothing went like I wanted it to regarding the birth experience, so breastfeeding was my last shot at getting something right and I couldn't even do that. I'm sad that not giving breastmilk might mean a lower resistance to germs and he may get some raging infection and then I'll feel like the world's worse mother ever to live.
On the other hand. . .
I'm relieved that I don't have to plan how to live my life in three-hour increments so that I can either nurse or pump (mostly pump, since nursing just doesn't seem to be Benjamin's "thing"). I'm relieved that by giving a bottle exclusively I'll always know exactly when and how much he's had to eat, which might even lead to a SCHEDULE (that's an exciting concept all on its own). I'm relieved that after nearly a year I'll have my body back all to myself.
Basically, I'm a mixed-up bag of hormonally charged mommy-emotions. (Yeah, yeah, and what else is new.)
But I think that overall getting away from the pump and being able to live without constantly having to worry about how and when I can pump milk or, if I try to nurse, worry about whether he had enough and if I'll have to sit and nurse again in 30 minutes, will make me a better, less stressed out mommy. Certainly having a less stressed out mommy is the best thing for everyone.
Right?
This means that soon you will be a bottle-fed formula baby instead of a bottle-fed breastmilk baby.
I am terribly torn about this decision and feeling rather sad about it. But at the same time I'm also feeling relieved.
I'm sad because I know breastmilk is best and stopping the pumping means stopping the breastmilk. I'm sad because I know that Benjamin is my last baby. This is my last time ever having the opportunity to breastfeed. I'm sad because nothing went like I wanted it to regarding the birth experience, so breastfeeding was my last shot at getting something right and I couldn't even do that. I'm sad that not giving breastmilk might mean a lower resistance to germs and he may get some raging infection and then I'll feel like the world's worse mother ever to live.
On the other hand. . .
I'm relieved that I don't have to plan how to live my life in three-hour increments so that I can either nurse or pump (mostly pump, since nursing just doesn't seem to be Benjamin's "thing"). I'm relieved that by giving a bottle exclusively I'll always know exactly when and how much he's had to eat, which might even lead to a SCHEDULE (that's an exciting concept all on its own). I'm relieved that after nearly a year I'll have my body back all to myself.
Basically, I'm a mixed-up bag of hormonally charged mommy-emotions. (Yeah, yeah, and what else is new.)
But I think that overall getting away from the pump and being able to live without constantly having to worry about how and when I can pump milk or, if I try to nurse, worry about whether he had enough and if I'll have to sit and nurse again in 30 minutes, will make me a better, less stressed out mommy. Certainly having a less stressed out mommy is the best thing for everyone.
Right?
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Your first Christmas has come and gone, and we both managed to make it through relatively unscathed! (It was touch and go there for awhile though--you were, of course, the center of everyone's attention and all the noise and commotion was sometimes a little too much for you. And to be honest, for me, too, sometimes.)
Santa brought you blocks that make sounds when you shake them and this chair called a Bebe Pod that is for babies your age who can't sit on their own, and a Johnny Jump Up, which you're too small for right now but you'll soon be big enough to enjoy. Oh, and two books and four CDs and a bunch of stuff in your stocking (including a stuffed monkey that Daddy says looks a lot like you!). You got TONS of stuff. Between Santa and all of the family, you racked up your first Christmas. Your favorite toy so far is this big, plastic monstrosity that you lie under and bat at the dangling things hanging down. (I can't remember who gave it to you, Aunt Liz or Grandma Lovick.) It's electronic and makes a lot of noise, which I don't care for, but fortunately you have just as much with it with the sound off.
We had a fun Christmas.
But now it's all over and we've had a nice, quiet day-after-Christmas time, which has also been fun. (It's a cold, rainy day, which has made it even nicer to be able to stay home and do nothing.)
I'm trying hard not to think about the fact that in a week I have to go back to work full-time. I'm super bummed about that. Even though I know you're going to be just fine staying at home with Daddy, I am still sad that's it's not me who gets to stay home with you. But there's not really any way possible to make that happen that I can see. Maybe if we sold our house and rented some place or bought something smaller and did away with a lot of "extras" that we have, such as a car or two, cell phones, cable, etc. we could conceivably make it without my income. But even then, we'd be without health insurance and that's not exactly something we can do without. So I really have no choice but to work. I'm sorry. I really am. I'd love to stay home with you. But like I said before and keep telling myself, it's not so bad because fortunately Daddy can run his business from home and can stay here with you, so at least you don't have to go to daycare. I think I'd probably have to commit myself if I had to put you in daycare at this point!
Well, you're waking up from your nap so I'll sign off here.
I love you bunches, mommy's punkin' head funny bunny bubble boy!!
Santa brought you blocks that make sounds when you shake them and this chair called a Bebe Pod that is for babies your age who can't sit on their own, and a Johnny Jump Up, which you're too small for right now but you'll soon be big enough to enjoy. Oh, and two books and four CDs and a bunch of stuff in your stocking (including a stuffed monkey that Daddy says looks a lot like you!). You got TONS of stuff. Between Santa and all of the family, you racked up your first Christmas. Your favorite toy so far is this big, plastic monstrosity that you lie under and bat at the dangling things hanging down. (I can't remember who gave it to you, Aunt Liz or Grandma Lovick.) It's electronic and makes a lot of noise, which I don't care for, but fortunately you have just as much with it with the sound off.
We had a fun Christmas.
But now it's all over and we've had a nice, quiet day-after-Christmas time, which has also been fun. (It's a cold, rainy day, which has made it even nicer to be able to stay home and do nothing.)
I'm trying hard not to think about the fact that in a week I have to go back to work full-time. I'm super bummed about that. Even though I know you're going to be just fine staying at home with Daddy, I am still sad that's it's not me who gets to stay home with you. But there's not really any way possible to make that happen that I can see. Maybe if we sold our house and rented some place or bought something smaller and did away with a lot of "extras" that we have, such as a car or two, cell phones, cable, etc. we could conceivably make it without my income. But even then, we'd be without health insurance and that's not exactly something we can do without. So I really have no choice but to work. I'm sorry. I really am. I'd love to stay home with you. But like I said before and keep telling myself, it's not so bad because fortunately Daddy can run his business from home and can stay here with you, so at least you don't have to go to daycare. I think I'd probably have to commit myself if I had to put you in daycare at this point!
Well, you're waking up from your nap so I'll sign off here.
I love you bunches, mommy's punkin' head funny bunny bubble boy!!
Monday, December 24, 2007
Dear Benjamin,
It's the eve of your first Christmas. Already you're nestled all snug in your bed and it's just a matter of time until Santa comes.
Of course, you don't care anything at all about any of this. Not yet. Not this year. Next year, of course, it will be a different story. But this year you're too small to have any cares at all, unless it has to do with eating, sleeping, or diaper changing.
But no matter, Santa will still come to visit you, as he does all good little boys and girls. And you certainly qualify as a good boy. The best, as a matter of fact, at least in Mommy's humble opinion.
Although. . .
This evening you weren't so very good. Not that you were "bad," or anything, you just weren't your usual sweet little self.
We tried to take you over to Big John's house for Christmas eve dinner, but it was so hot and noisy and bright there, and you were already so tired that you quickly became overstimulated. And when you're overstimulated you're grumpy. And when you're feeling grumpy it makes Mommy sad and grumpy (not with you, but with the situation). So we left early. You promptly fell asleep in the van and stayed that way until Mommy woke you up to change your clothes and your diaper before putting you to bed. Now you're all cozy, fast asleep (well, maybe not fast, but asleep at least) and Mommy is feeling much less stressed too, sitting here with her glass of wine, posting in your blog. Life is good.
Of course, I'll need to go to bed, as well, pretty soon so's Santa can come.
I wonder what he's going to bring for you?! I can't wait to see and then to tell you all about it after tomorrow.
Merry Christmas, my sweet baby boy.
I love you!
It's the eve of your first Christmas. Already you're nestled all snug in your bed and it's just a matter of time until Santa comes.
Of course, you don't care anything at all about any of this. Not yet. Not this year. Next year, of course, it will be a different story. But this year you're too small to have any cares at all, unless it has to do with eating, sleeping, or diaper changing.
But no matter, Santa will still come to visit you, as he does all good little boys and girls. And you certainly qualify as a good boy. The best, as a matter of fact, at least in Mommy's humble opinion.
Although. . .
This evening you weren't so very good. Not that you were "bad," or anything, you just weren't your usual sweet little self.
We tried to take you over to Big John's house for Christmas eve dinner, but it was so hot and noisy and bright there, and you were already so tired that you quickly became overstimulated. And when you're overstimulated you're grumpy. And when you're feeling grumpy it makes Mommy sad and grumpy (not with you, but with the situation). So we left early. You promptly fell asleep in the van and stayed that way until Mommy woke you up to change your clothes and your diaper before putting you to bed. Now you're all cozy, fast asleep (well, maybe not fast, but asleep at least) and Mommy is feeling much less stressed too, sitting here with her glass of wine, posting in your blog. Life is good.
Of course, I'll need to go to bed, as well, pretty soon so's Santa can come.
I wonder what he's going to bring for you?! I can't wait to see and then to tell you all about it after tomorrow.
Merry Christmas, my sweet baby boy.
I love you!
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Sorry I haven't posted lately. For some reason my time seems to be in short supply lately (hmmmm, wonder why that is?). :-)
Today is Saturday. The Saturday before xmas. Donald is at work, Lizzie is sick with a stomach virus, the baby is fussy, and I've sent William off to the grocery store to get popsicles and such for his sister.
Benjamin is currently in his swing making "light" fussy noises at me. These will soon escalate into "heavy" fussy noises. Yep. There he goes. BRB. . .
Back. Paci is in place, but this is only a short-term fix. I will have to go pick him up in just a moment. The swing is not where he wants to be.
Oop. . .gotta go!
Today is Saturday. The Saturday before xmas. Donald is at work, Lizzie is sick with a stomach virus, the baby is fussy, and I've sent William off to the grocery store to get popsicles and such for his sister.
Benjamin is currently in his swing making "light" fussy noises at me. These will soon escalate into "heavy" fussy noises. Yep. There he goes. BRB. . .
Back. Paci is in place, but this is only a short-term fix. I will have to go pick him up in just a moment. The swing is not where he wants to be.
Oop. . .gotta go!
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